I am having difficulty breathing when i think of a certain topic.?

you are having panic attacks and they are not phsyic or spritual so get to a doctor and get it checked,if god did not want man to have certain sinful thoughts then we would all be born ugly .do not put a name or judge your self for being a normal human.History exsist for a reason and we cannot change the past it is there so that we do not make the same mistakes in the future .You are not praying or celebrating their way of thinking but studying it and knowledge is not a bad thing.